Thinking Like a Mediator: Don't Sit on the Fence

As one of the three core principles of mediation, impartiality plays an important role in resolving conflict. Even if it’s just a ‘quiet word’ or a ‘confident conversation’, it is important to treat disputants equally, to remain neutral on the issue at hand, and to avoid passing judgment.

While, as conflict resolver, you might literally be sat in the middle of a dispute, you are not remaining indifferent. As such, our advice is: ‘Don’t sit on the fence’.

'Fence-sitting' implies that there is a failure to take a side out of fear or indifference, or the inability to make a decision. On the contrary, your neutrality is an active technique to help facilitate the conversation and help the parties to move forward.

Of course, there is a balance to maintain here: remaining neutral and impartial, without acting indifferent or unbothered, and instead being deliberate and intentional with your actions. This is briefly covered in our ‘Be Yourself’ article too.

So, with that in mind, here are just a few tips for if you find yourself as an ‘unsuspecting mediator’:

Be authentic

Demonstrate sincerity, honesty, and transparency, as opposed to putting on the character of a mediator. Be self-aware that we have multiple roles within ourselves, as well as how we behave, feel, and think when in those roles.

Avoid Passing Judgment

Your job is not to decide who’s right or wrong, or to decide who should do what going forward (even if that is usually what happens in your day-to-day role!) Your role is to proactively facilitate the conversation and support the parties in finding a mutually beneficial outcome.

Focus on the interests, not the positions

Paying attention to interests (the underlying motive) rather than positions (what people present) is a key component to resolving conflict. Otherwise, when people get lodged into a positional stand-off, they end up in competition rather than collaboration. Your actions, including ‘reframing’, can help to lessen hostility and shift the disputants into a future-focused mindset, without the need for taking sides.

Creative problem-solving

Even when you’re taking a step back to let the parties communicate, you have a range of tools to help the process without affecting your neutrality. Mediation skills can be used very flexibly, and options like side meetings and shuttle processes can also be used. You can also help the parties to explore outside-the-box options that they might not consider otherwise.