The A-Z of Mediation: X-Ray Vision

With all of the success that can come from mediation, some may well consider mediators to be miracle workers. They are not, however, mind readers, nor do they have X-RAY VISION!

Very often, they won’t be getting the full story of the dispute: there may be aspects that the parties haven’t shared with anyone, or there may be details that were omitted from the referral form.

It may even be the case that parties/referrers are not revealing the full story on purpose. Parties may not be attending in good faith, or perhaps they are being made to take part by an employer.

In these cases, it is important that the mediator shows that they are:

Genuine
In order to build rapport, trust, and confidence, the mediator’s actions and intentions must be genuine. Whether this is through showing empathy or by actively listening, this will help the parties to open up further.

Impartial
By remaining impartial throughout, the mediator can show the parties that they aren’t taking sides and that they are not there to decide who is right or wrong. Again, this may encourage the parties to reveal the full story.

Empathic
The mediator must take on board what is being said, show that the parties are indeed being heard, and set an example of good-quality dialogue. Parties may then feel more comfortable in sharing further details.

In good faith
Mediation is unique in that it promotes a non-binding agreement, in which the parties attend in good faith and take part of their own volition. This trust can then work both ways, with the parties beginning to trust the mediator as well.

And, of course, if it gets to a point where mediation is no longer possible or suitable, the mediator can choose to end the process and signpost the parties to other sources of support.